Remembering Cimarron Esti Hartt: A Heartfelt Tribute to My Soul Dog

Year of Strengths Focus post for October 4th: RIP sweet, spunky Cimarron. You came to me to heal my heart from the devastating loss of Sazi. I thought I’d never know a bond like that, again.

A woman smiling and taking a selfie with a small dog wearing blue goggles. Another dog is visible in the background.
Sazi’s last camping trip at Hovenweep, Fall 2022

Then you came along. I extended my summer trio to go pick you up at Harley’s Dream. You screamed at me and snapped when I buckled you in. But, that night, you snuggled into my sleeping bag and the bonding started.

A small, sleeping dog curled up on a checkered red and black blanket, wearing a black harness.
Cimarron in my sleeping bag the day after I adopted her, September Blue Moon, 2023

Two weeks ago you were snuggled into your sleeping bag. We were gonna hike the next day, but you collapsed. And then you bounced, but then you honked. But not for long. You sat on my lap and wanted my taco. I thought you would bounce forever, but you needed the right treatment. I drove 500 miles and spent hundreds to get answers.

A small dog wrapped in a cozy blanket, sleeping peacefully inside a tent.
Cimarron in her diva sleeping bag this summer

I’m glad I did because you were my best little sidekick for the last 3 years. You were always there, flying up and down the stairs to be with me. Our little brains just bathed in oxytocin when we saw each other each morning.

A small dog resting comfortably in a fluffy purple pet bed, wearing a colorful harness, with a cozy home environment in the background.
The summer was hot, we stayed in the basement as much as possible

We had adventures. Boyd State Park, Hovenweep National Monument, Moab (Arches and Dead Horse), Petrified Forest, Catalina State Park, El Morro, Canyon de Chelly, Mesa Verde, Pearl Lake State Park, Goosenecks State Park, Coral Pink Sand Dunes, Monument Valley, Navajo National Park, Goblin Valley, Dead Horse, Kodachrome, and Cimarron . . . The list goes on. A few photos of our adventures are below.

A small dog resting in an open pet carrier, surrounded by clothing items.
A smiling woman wearing a blue t-shirt and a camera strap holds a small dog in a colorful carrier while sitting outdoors in a sunny park.
Three small dogs sitting in front of a rustic stone wall, with one dog in a red harness, another in a blue harness, and the last in a patterned shirt.
Three small dogs sitting on a hiking trail with a scenic background of hills and greenery.
Smiling woman with a pet dog in front of the Cimarron Campground sign.
Three small dogs on leashes sitting on a rocky path, smiling under a partly cloudy sky with greenery in the background.
A smiling woman takes a selfie with three dogs on a bridge. The dogs are wearing colorful sweaters and leashes, and the background shows the bridge's structure and surrounding scenery.
A small black and gray dog standing on a rock ledge with a vast canyon and snow-capped mountains in the background.
Three small dogs sitting in tall grass on a sunny day, with a forested area and a wooden signpost in the background.
A small, elderly Chihuahua wearing a colorful party hat with a purple pom-pom and a festive necktie, sitting on a dog bed.
Santa Claus gently holds a small dog dressed in a festive outfit, sitting in front of a decorated Christmas setting with trees and presents.
Three dogs standing on a rocky cliff in the desert, wearing colorful jackets.
Three dogs wearing red jackets stand on a stone ledge overlooking a vast desert landscape with rock formations in the background.

I wasn’t sure what to do with you and those long legs at first. You danced and flipped and jumped and ran. You hated cold, but didn’t love heat, either. You had no fat. And I ordered special Greyhound harnesses and clothes for you. You hated getting dressed, but you figured out how to help.

A small dog wearing a colorful sweater, sitting comfortably on a blanket with a soft expression.
Cimarron, my diva dog

That second collapse took it out of you. You got mad, you didn’t want your heart pill. You fought too hard – because that was you. You needed to be in control. You little body just couldn’t fight anymore without collapsing.

A small grey dog with a colorful puzzle-patterned harness sitting comfortably in a pet stroller.
Stroller ride the day after the second collapse.

The vet said we might have 6 month on Friday. I was hoping for the holidays. But, you weren’t bouncing back like the first time. Yesterday, your breathing got a little faster. Today, it continued. But, you took a stroller ride and sniffed the air, then you slept peacefully in you spot. I wanted to be wrong about how fast you were breathing, so I laid you on your bed, but you were too uncomfortable to lay. And I knew it was time, before you started to drown in your own lungs. So, I whisked you to our new ER. That makes 5 vets in 2 weeks, you little Diva. You died peaceful in my arms while I told you stories of our adventures.

A small gray dog wearing a colorful patterned sweater sitting comfortably in a stroller.
Stroller ride just 6 hours before you left us.

My heart is shattered. You were always there, my velcro kid. Tomorrow will be so simple but empty. I’m washing your stuff and putting it in a hope chest for you legacy. And, everywhere we go, you’ll be there. Your mamas Carolyn and Chrystal are probably already feeding you treats. You were so loved by so many. RIP little Cimarron Esti.

A cozy Chihuahua peeking out from under a soft blanket, resting on a colorful couch.
Napping on your 15th birthday last June.

Cimarron Esti Hartt 6.2.11-10.4.26

I will be adding some additional blog posts on Cimarron’s last 2 weeks of life. Cimarron had a history of heart disease but was not in congestive heart failure (until the very last hours). Instead, her heart valve strings (chordae tendineae) got thick. This allowed her to maintain a high quality of life but was actually silently advancing heart disease. Then, she developed collapsing trachea, which was likely the cause of both collapses. That put additional stress on her heart that eventually lead to increased respiratory rate, eventually distress. That is when we said our goodbyes.

I am a doctor of nursing practice and learned so much from Cimarron’s last days. My hope is that owners of small breed dogs might find some useful knowledge in hearing about our journey. Watch for the titles below to get linked to our story over the next few weeks. It is important for me to share our story as I work through the grief process, but I need to do it one step at a time.

  • Our annual trip to Hovenweep: From collapse to urgent care to home
  • Follow-up visit with our local vet to the second collapse
  • Trip to Grand Junction for ER and specialist vet care
  • The final two days: Counting breaths and eating Arby’s
  • My broken heart and the grief process

Cimarron’s Hovenweep Urn In-Process (with the postcard I am modeling it after)

Illustration of Hovenweep National Monument featuring colorful stone towers against a blue sky and desert landscape.
A hand holding a textured, cylindrical concrete pot with a cracked surface pattern, set against a blurred background of green foliage.

Forever in my heart, Cathy Hartt

Leave a Reply